weird headspace - arms

 i'll start with the usual. going into the 9th month of this depressive episode. this is the longest one i've been in since i was a suicidal teen. i'm still coping with music. still losing myself in Stray Kids and Ateez. Ateez doesn't hit the comfort button as good as Stray Kids, they still help. i'm also in therapy. that's also helping.


 

i have other things i would love to write about. like i had a good discussion with my partner about grooming vs brainwashing that i'd love to write down. but i'm in a weird headspace at the moment. so we're gonna go with weird headspace topic.

basically this is gonna be Monster simping. a lot. way too much. for reasons i have no clue about. like, this has never been a thing for me. yes, i have kinks. yes, i'm a brat switch who enjoys it way too much. and, yes, i've been slightly deprived in that space due to the current depressive episode and not wanting to trigger memories and my partner not being comfortable in that space (which is okay with me). he lets me play when i need it. i just haven't been in a good headspace to play with my normal people more than surface-level. this is not me looking for more playtoys.

before we get into Monster simping, there's a crash course of the brain weasels in the previous post. i'm still planning on doing a proper post on them. eventually. when Monster's done simping.

Monster: on to the simp! omg arms. like why?

so, yeah. arms apparently are the current infatuation. my brain has flatlined because of fucking arms. whyyyyyyy?

like, seriously. wtf brainweasels?

Monster: whut? like 2/10 sorry. just look at this:


Monster: and this:


Monster: and that:


like, i've never been a huge fan of muscles. they're okay, but i don't faun over them. i like squishy. but my brain malfunctioned over biceps. wtf?

what typically causes my brain to malfunction? eyes, always. hands, sometimes. tongue, most of the time. but biceps? i guess there's a first time for everything.

i'll just sit here in delulu land and wait for Monster to get over his current infatuation. hello hyperfocus. you could have been useful, but i guess we're doing this.

MW: aaaaaarrrrrmmms




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